I put pickle relish on my grilled cheese sandwiches. My grandpa did and, as a kid, I liked liking something that he liked too. I make stuffing from my mom's recipe for the same reason. I take naps during football games because having the game on reminds me of my dad. I feed birds and grow tomatoes and flowers (especially peonies) because my Grandma does. I can't imagine how many other things I do on a daily basis not because I would naturally do them on my own, but because people I love did them first.

So right now, as I do the Christmas preparations, I look at my kids and I wonder- what random habit will they pick up because DH and I do them? Will they make a big production out of getting the tree (ritually rejecting the first 3 simply because it can't be that easy), or over-decorate cookies to the point that no one over the age of 10 will even eat them? I guess no one gets to pick what they hand down. If they did, I can't imagine that pickle relish would have been the thing my grandpa would have picked.

So what about you?  What was handed down to you?  And what do you think you're handing down?

So great to see another presidential candidate addressing the issues of working mothers. I just read a Q&A with Barack Obama in Newsweek and was impressed. Thanks for writing your impressions of him, Laura! -Elisa

On Monday, I had the most amazing experience of my political life.  Somehow (the details are a mystery to me), I was selected to be part of a 8 member panel meeting with Barack Obama to talk about the issues of working women.  I was invited on Saturday (I was in Denver at the time), vetted Saturday night and Sunday, and Monday at 1 I found myself standing with 7 other very nervous women at a local chocolate factory, waiting to meet the man himself.

DS is in first grade and has so far done pretty well.  He's freaky smart (multiplying two digits in  his head, adding three sets of three digits, doing addition and subtraction of negative numbers, etc) but his social skills are weak, to say the least.  I blame it partially on his early years- DH was a SAHD and they had very limited opportunities to interact with other kids since most of the moms in playgroup tended to assume he was looking for a little action on the side rather than just looking for a playdate.  Mostly DS has been blissfully ignorant of his lack of skills- moving happily between groups of kids, not noticing that most didn't seem thrilled to have him join their groups.  But today his sister (4) got her third birthday party invitation in 2 months and the lightbulb switched on- he doesn't get invited to birthday parties.

My niece is 16.  Smart girl, big plans to go to college, lots of potentional, loving parents, but growing up in a family that just couldn't catch a break.  She went out with some new friends, had too much to drink (first time), had sex (again first time) and got pregnant.  Her family was disappointed but supportive.  Their perspective (after Alice made her choice) was that every life should be greated with excitement and joy and they were bound and determined not to mourn the birth of their first grandchild, no matter the circumstances.  They were also committed that this wouldn't be the end of their little girl's life- she would still go to college and they'd support her in whatever way they needed to.  (For the record, they examined all the options and the hurdles- emotional and logistical- around termination were just too steep.  I have to respect that because, in my opinion, that's the definition of choice.)